Work & Life Balance - a new approach
Most people were shocked into changing their priorities. 911 shook us, then COVID-19. Many are on edge thinking about how to change their lives and focus on what's important in life.
How did this philosophy come about?
I worked for a large technology company and was very successful at learning a lot and getting promotions. When I was 39 years old and looked forward to the next promotion, I realized that work was dominating my life at the expense of my family. I decided to stop running the “rat race”. Those that spend too much time winning the rat race forget that even when you win, you are still a rat. So, the 4 Cornerstones of Life was born.
What are the 4 Cornerstone of Life?
1) Empathy - focus on family and friends
2) Fulfilment - focus on self
3) Support - focus on community
4) Commitment - focus on work
Why focus on family and friends?
Most people say family and friends are very important to them. They always say they should have called their brother or should have visited their mother. The reality is that most people spend less than 20% of their time thinking about and planning time around family and friends. The proof is this. If the third person that comes to your mind were to disappear, would you say that you spent a great deal of time with them? Most people would say no but would declare "I wish I had called them" by phone or visited them by car, it's been months. You should spend 50% of your time thinking about and planning time with family and friends. You'll gain a level of peace that you never thought was possible.
Doctors insist that we live longer when we have a great, supportive circle of family and/or friends. It’s on your health assessment and you could pay more for insurance if you don’t have this strong support network. We are happier and healthier with strong relationships with family and friends..
Why focus on self?
You would normally think self would be at the top of your list of what's important and that would take up most of your free time. The sad reality is that most people spend the least amount of time thinking about what makes them happy and will sacrifice themselves first so they can do everything else. You can't respect others until you respect yourself. You can't love others until you learn how to love yourself. This might sound kind of hooky, but when was the last time you did something just for you because you thought it was important and plan it ahead of time. We simply squeeze in a little time and fun for ourselves. You must develop a roadmap for yourself. What do you believe is important? Who do you value most? Where and how do you want your years to pass? What hobbies do you have to have fun with? How do you relax? What would you die for? What anchors in life do you have, such as Church, charity work, or being a great parent? These points and more are critical to your understanding of yourself.
Once you fully understand yourself then you can spend the bulk of your time thinking about family, friends and your community. You won't obsess much about work because you will understand that work is a necessary means to your end of peace and happiness. Others have a view of you so part of being true to oneself is to be good in behavior and deeds.
"In order to be good, you have to do good."
Why focus on community?
Humans are communal by nature. We cannot be isolated for a long period and we need the connection to others outside our family. When we buy into a community, we often are busy living life and don’t take the time to know the neighbors. We may not have group gatherings like Church and block parties. Science suggests that humans will become insane if isolated too long so the mental effect of a lack of community is real and proven by science.
Most people complain continuously that they want to spend more time getting to know their neighbors and going to help others in the community. You may have new year resolutions that commit to charity work and to participate in the local neighborhood program to save children. The sad fact is that most people don't know their neighbor right next to them within 3 homes away. A village can't raise a child today because most neighbors don't know each other’s names. We should spend at least 20% of our thought on our community efforts.
The need to focus on work is self-evident, pay the bills
We don’t put work last because it’s not as important. We know that work is vital to life’s pursuits and happiness as industrialized societies are set up. Work also provides important friendships and relationships that are supportive and fulfilling. However, work rules and processes will dictate where you show up, what you do and how you do it. Therefore, perfecting process compliance becomes the discussion in most staff meetings. We have degrees and decades of experience so it doesn’t take much thinking to comply. It does take more thinking to be creative and innovative.
"A healthy person with a support group and a feeling of achievement in life will always do better work."
What does work and family balance mean?
Everyone speaks about work/life balance but few people plan action to ensure a balance. Experts say that having balance in life makes employees better at doing work. Few employees can effectively implement a process to troubleshoot a problem at work when they are thinking about problems with family or close friends. Therefore, if we spend more conscious time on balance then we are better able to perform and be creative at work.
Looking forward and implementing the 4 cornerstones in your life!
Once you have a daily way of thinking about the 4 Cornerstones of Life, it changes what you do. You don't sweat the little things because they distract you from what's important. You also don't fight with loved ones because you value them more than anyone else. You don't harm your body because you respect yourself more than the alcohol, tattoos and the latest fads.
"You then understand that good practice in life makes progress and you accept not being perfect."
This article was not referenced. It is an original philosophy of Richard A. Sherrod
